junk drawer (blog) - Page 2 of 2

February 16, 2022

Thought Piece

Christina Yuna Lee & Michelle Go

thoughts and feelings as i navigate through this tragic loss of life.

ever since Michelle Go was murdered, i have started to feel more unsafe than usual in a city by myself.

i saw myself in her, an asian american woman passionate about life and caring for those around her. my heart broke reading about how she volunteered and traveled in her spare time.

now a repeat of an incident, but even worse. something more pre-meditated? Christina Lee was cruelly robbed of her life. how both women have suffered before passing. my heart aches for them, their families, their friends.

there is absolutely something to be said about needing more mental health resources, health, housing, and other necessities to live, but that is not something for today.

i think it hurts double for me because 1. i see such striking similarities in the way both michelle and christina lived to how i do 2. as a woman, we try to protect ourselves already so much, but does it really matter if society doesn’t care about us? the next name in headlines could be me or my friends.

i stand with the other communities pushing for a better world to live in, but this one, to me, is a different hurt, something more personal. i understand this is how the other communities feel too when another tragedy occurs. this is why we speak and ask for change.

January 27, 2022

Thought Piece

moving from scarcity mentality

“My first thought being how do I get to do that, and my second, if there’s already one Asian girl doing this, then there’s no longer space for me.” – Michelle Zauner, Crying in H mart

This quote has been in the back of my mind for the past two weeks because it’s been in my brain ever since I recognized diversity and competition as a child.

Creatively, this has affected me greatly in the past. I get inspired and start brainstorming only to stop once I think about the target market/audience and the saturation already there.

There were two misconceptions I had around this.

Hobbies & creative outlets do NOT need to be lucrative to be worth pursuing. If this is the thought that is stopping me, it’s a terrible reason. I do see the flip side, how hobbies/activities cost materials, money, or time, and sometimes it is not affordable. Unfortunately that is reality, but personally for my hobbies, I know there are basic items that I can use without needing to invest in pricey options. Sometimes the smaller investments are worth it as well. Even then with the poorest tools, the world can be forgiving in certain circumstances.
There can only be ONE successful individual at x. That type of thinking did not stop Jeff Bezos when he saw Barnes & Noble and Bill Gates. The cis straight white man is everywhere, in media, in high ranking positions, and he did not hesitate in the market either. He is no role model to me, this is just a reminder to claim the audacity. Even within diverse communities, I myself follow multiple creative individuals who sometimes are similar, and other times are exceedingly different. This reverse psychology has not dawned on me until recently. Funny how the mind works against us.

Contrary to what media would like you to think, there is definitely space for everyone, and at the same time, I don’t have to feel pressured to monetize everything I do.
This balance lifts the pressure off either end, and just allows me to pursue the hobbies I enjoy. There is a slight third element of the urge to be productive at every waking moment, but that is a different obstacle I have already come to terms with.

I will no longer let this stop me from putting myself out there.